


You're Worse Than Any Diagnosis

by younggod



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, luke loves michael but michael loves calum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3809635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younggod/pseuds/younggod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke had wonderful health before he met Michael</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Worse Than Any Diagnosis

**Author's Note:**

> another thing i wrote based off of a slam poem i wrote. i think this might be a thing for me now. this ones more structured though so im not sure its as beautiful but i know i want to do at least one more because im relating to luke and unrequited love quite a bit right now.

Luke remembers having extremely good health when he was younger, having a wonderful attendance record in school and even never missing any days some years. He never had to worry about his lungs or his stomach cramping or churning and he never had problems thinking and he never threw up and his hands only shook in a few scary situations but the symptoms were quick to flee.

And then Luke meets a boy in year six named Michael– though if you asked Luke he would have said that he didn’t truly meet him until year eleven – and Luke’s a bit intimidated and Michael’s a bit unsure so they form a hate relationship based solely on too many strong emotions and wild chemistry between them.

The feud lasts for a year or two until Luke has to do a presentation and social situations have become those scary shaking-and-crying situations for him and Michael hates seeing people cry, especially in school bathroom stalls during lunch before his shared English class with them. Thus, Michael skips out on lunch too to go help the boy that he wasn’t sure how to feel about because he was too confusing for Michael so he decided to hate him and that all kind of ends that day. Michael thinks it’s too hard to hate someone who is full of kindness and so genuine and Luke thinks it’s too hard to hate and be intimidated by someone who skips pizza day to help him dry his tears and get rid of the redness with wet paper towels.

Three years later and they’re really good friends - Luke can solidly say Michael is his best friend and it feels…really nice. Like, really, really nice. They talk every day to some extent whether it’s face to face or over texts and Luke finds out Michael can sing and eventually Michael starts showing him drafts of songs and asking opinions and Luke can’t stop saying everything is amazing because it is. And then things change.

Luke comes to the realization that your best friend doesn’t usually make you feel like you’re on a high and that you’re floating and can’t breathe like its war and peace at the same time. Your best friend doesn’t usually keep you up at night and you usually don’t feel your breath catch in your throat when you think of holding their hand. And usually your best friend isn’t so gorgeous that you’re being knocked off your feet and you’re falling and you’re not falling to the ground your falling in love or whatever word you use before love because love is a strong word but so is how Luke feels about Michael. But everything’s still okay.Until it's not. 

During the transition from summer to autumn, Luke gets a text from Michael and of course he’s excited because he’s always excited about Michael. It reads, “I think I like boys” and Luke’s confused because he already knows this due to how open Michael is about his bisexuality and there’s not really anything else until he gets another texts reading “Correction: I like _a_ boy” with a photo attached. Luke’s lungs hurt, he feels like he can’t breathe and not in the pleasant way Michael usually makes him feel. The ground is cracking and the sky is spinning and Luke replies something ridiculous like “Cool!” or “Oh man”. He doesn’t open the picture.

Or he doesn’t until it’s one thirty-three in the morning and he’s practically pacing over it so he just opens it already. He taps that little accept photo button and it loads almost instantaneously showing a boy about his age and every nerve in his stomach is going wild on hyper sensitive mode. The boy has tanned, soft skin and dark, soft eyes and hair that has a slight curl to it and just looks soft overall and he thinks about how he and Michael would look so good together with their softness. He feels like someone is twisting their hand around in his stomach so he closes his phone and goes to sleep nauseous and on edge.

_Luke thinks he might be getting sick._

Calum. His name is Calum and he’s the quiet rain at noon before the storm hits and it’s not his fault Luke is just fucked up and Luke doesn’t necessarily hate him but it stings so badly like salt and citrus in an open wound. When he hangs out with Michael at the park he can’t stop talking about Calum with such joy and apparently they two have known each other for years. It takes Luke longer to react, he’s slow, he’s foggy, he can’t think for once in his life.

It’s a couple months later and Luke’s at a party with Michael and he gets separated from him somewhere along the night, split apart by young bodies with too much alcohol and coloured flashing lights and when he finally finds him he wishes he didn’t and that the lights were bright enough to blind him from the sight of Michael grinding against Calum and kissing his neck. Luke’s outside the house throwing up whilst Ashley, a friend from fourth period geometry class, makes sure he doesn’t get vomit on his clothes and rubs his back.

He goes back in to let Michael know he’s leaving but Michael’s already dragging Calum up the stairs. Luke thinks he’s going to throw up again.

_Yeah, Luke’s sick._

Luke stops listening to Michael play love songs on his guitar and stops reading the drafts of new songs because his hands shake and his eyes water when he knows they’re all about the boy with the chocolate eyes and the cavity inducing sweet smile that rots Luke to the core. Or at least he does sometimes; in the end he always comes back to them. Always comes back to the songs and the lyrics and texts and the long conversations even if most of it’s about Calum. Always comes back to Michael.

Luke always had wonderful health before he met Michael. His bones never ached, his skin never burned but watching him kiss Calum makes everything hurt.


End file.
